''there are things that aren't suppose to happen or rather occur but again choices are not of service to us but rather we are made of service to unexpected choices."
by just saying that, for sure things are now beginning to come into your risky mind that somehow you have just delivered false hopes to someone...not just anybody else...but to someone of so much importance to you.
being in a situation like that would definitely make one think and ask: what is it really about me? there must really be that something. in one's case, that something is unidentifiable and i do understand (that's what i always do). when it comes to feelings, as much as possible, i don't want to interfere! in the first place, what do i really know abour your feelings? for other people who doesn't even know what the heck is goin' on they would definitely think that you are someone who doesn't care! caring has always been in your system the reason why you can't afford to hurt someone but by simply doing so, you're unconsciously hurting him by giving him that little glimmer of hope brought about by your actions and you're out to tell the whole world (if you can) "that's not what i meant" again i do understand. of course there came a point that you really wanted to end this all up but it's not that easy but how could you give another start if you don't know how to end it? and ending doesn't mean that you also stop loving him but ending to stop hurting him. i might sound so crazy and stupid but if it's the proper thing to do then do it!!!
the world is really paradoxical: we need to go down to be able to go up; we need to be separated to be together; we need to live with the past to live with the present and the future; and most of all, we need to let go to let it all in...8
