..I love You in spite of..

What hurts the most?..

When you can’t fight for that one thing that would make you happy...

I may never be the person you look forward to seeing every day but I will always be the person who will look out for you each and every day.. Men are haunted by the vastness of eternity and so we ask ourselves: Will our actions echo across the centuries? Will strangers hear our names long after we are gone, and wonder who we were, how bravely we fought, how fiercely we loved?

Love is when you can't sleep.. it’s when you want to keep your eyes open..
Love isn’t when you keep holding on.. it’s when you learn to let go..
Love isn’t when you kill yourself with jealousy.. it’s when you understand..
Love isn't when you fall for someone.. it’s when you catch that person when she falls.. Love isn’t when you see her everywhere.. it’s when you close your eyes and she is still there..
Love isn’t when you tell her what you feel.. it’s when you give everything for her sake.. And love isn’t when you think you were blind.. it’s when you know she was wrong but you didn’t mind.

..Smiling When All You Wanna Do is Cry..

"Most relationships fail not because of the absence of love. Love is always present...it's just that one loves too much and the other loves too many."

If I could ask God 1 thing, it would be "Are you destined for me?" if he says YES, then I'll love you even more! If he says NO then I'll continue to love you 'til I can make him agree that we're really meant to be..They say "Love is blind.." but in reality..LOVE IS NOT BLIND..it simply enables one to see things others fail to see!

I came upon fiftieth roman and nothing left except five inverted three and then YOU came last..

..Purest of Pain..

i'm sorry i didn't mean to call but i couldn't fight it
i guess i was weak couldn't even hide it
and so i surrender just to hear your voice
i know how many times
i said i'm gonna live without you
and maybe someone else is standing there beside you
but there's something baby that you need to know
that deep inside me i feel like i'm dying
i have to see you it's all that i'm asking

vida, give me back ny fantasies
the courage that i need to hear
the air that i breathe
cariño mio my world becomes so empty
my days are so cold and lonely
and each night i taste
the purest of pain

i wish i could tell you i'm feelin' better everyday
that it didn't hurt me when you walked away
but to tell you the truth i can't find my way
and deep inside me i feel like i'm dying
i have to see you it's all that i'm asking...

quisier a decirte que hoy estoy
de maravilla
que no me ha afectado lo de tu partida
pero con un dedo
no se tapa el sol
estoy muriendo
muriendo por verte
agonizando, muy lento y muy fuerte

vida, devuelve me mis fantasias
mis ganas de vivir la vida
devuelve me el ave
cariño mio, sintin yo me siento vacio
las tardes son un laberinto
las noches me sabes

a puro dolor

..Does Love Need A Reason?..

Don't love me for anything...You may love for a reason but let the reason be...

For a moment i closed my eyes...I contemplated on what could have been the answer. After a few seconds, I opened it...smiled...Ifound the answer - NO!

Logically speaking, there's a reason for everything. The reason why you cry is "you're sad". The reason why you laugh is "you're happy". The reason why you eat is "you're hungry". and the reason why you drink is "you're thirsty". There's more...so much more...

A few days ago, I was asked of the same question (thru SMS) and the burden of answering such question fell like an arrow not only on my dry chaffed lips but also of the republic. Who would have thought that after 19 years (daw) of my confident existence, someone would make me think about this not only twice but thrice. I even resorted to writing this. The conversation went on until it was time for her to sleep.

It was something like...

(December 14, 2006...around 10PM..)

brasil - "what if you waited for your special someone your whole life and learn that no one is waitin' for you. true love is worth takin' chances for. sometimes you don't know why things work out, they just do."

tennis - "hmmm...why things work out? kaw? may sagot ka ba sa why?

brasil - "sabi nga nila, pag mahal mo ang isang tao, hindi kailangan ng reason basta mahal mo siya. pag nagkaroon ng sagot sa tanong na yun, di na yun love...pageant na."

tennis - "hehe! ay ang ganda...not for me. sa akin kailangan may reason. pag nagkatuluyan kami ni ma--t o ni naka-- s-n, i'l ask bakit niya ako mahal at kailangan may sagot sya haha! bulok style sakin ang just because...i just do eew!. everything has a reason. i believe that includes love."

brasil - "pano pag sinabi na " i don't know, it just hit me... i never believed in forever but i found forever in you" gusto mo talaga ng reason?"

tennis - "aba! eh kung ganun ba ang sasabihin sakin kahit wag na sya magsalita forever pagkatapos...hehe! ang reason kse is like a closure. for clarity parang pag tinanong what do you want to eat? tapos sumagot ng anything...i'm just hungry...ok na yun. gutom naman pala so kakain talaga but then again walang certainty. ano ba talaga gusto nya...same thing. u love just because, puede. but a reason gives it its foundaton di ba? di ba?"

and the rest...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...tulog na..............next time.....

ayt! ayt! but don't we have something we call unconditional? we come not to love a perfect person but we do to love him and his imperfections. the moment you found the reason why you love that particular person, that would no longer be true love. not that i'm telling you to be blinded by his foul actions on you but remember that's what makes him HUMAN...us HUMAN. he commits MISTAKES - we do. he tends to be INSENSITIVE at times - we do. he has inherited SINS - we did too! he's flesh and blood - he's human. we're human. if you have the reasons for loving someone then you might be looking for your perfect pair, your ideal man and i believe...that ideal man doesn't exist. oh yeah! he does but only in the mind.

- I love you because...you're tall

you're handsome

you're rich

you're intelligent

you're talented

What if he doesn't fall on those criteria? Yeah right! You wouldn't love him or like him...fine...but i always thought...Love is being felt by the heart and not being seen by the eyes or being think of by the brain.

- I love you because...you love me too

You're not obliged to reciprocate the love that he has for you. If you don't love him, just let him love you...that would do.

Anyway, nothing really that serious in here. "it takes faith to believe" you don't have to see it - feel it! I think it's a case to case basis, "to each his own" as she said. As for me, when I say I love you, I mean it and I wouldn't make promises I couldn't keep. and...please don't think that I don't understand because I do! I know there really are reasons but I don't want those reasons to be my reasons for loving you...

"MARAMING DAHILAN...TOTOO...AT ANG DAHILAN KO AY IKAW..."

DOES LOVE NEED A REASON?

For a moment I closed my eyes...I contemplated on what could have been the answer. After a few seconds, I opened it...smiled...I found the answer...

- LOVE

I smiled again...found another answer...

-YOU

I LOVE YOU...8

..Relationship: Public or Private?

"love can never be a secret forever..."

How far would you go for love? i don't know! but the moment it hits you, you really just don't know! most of the time, you don't even know that you're in-love. true? yes it is!!!

I really do admire couples who come out in the open and proclaim the kind of relationship that they're having. why? well... they're just so proud of it! who would not be proud if you've got yourself a "beauty na brains pa girl" or a "boy next door." tama? who would not be proud if your guy or your girl is some kind of a "hot property?" and only a chosen few were given that kind of self-gratifying-yet-hard-to-deal-with relationship. self-gratifyig for the simple reason that the relationship makes you feel proud of yourself and of your partner. hard-to-deal kasi you become a "hot item" that everyone's talkin' about and while you're so complacent with your "so far smooth sailing" relationship, somebody's trying to pull him/her away from you. just thank God it didn't came into reality because "malakas ang kapit mo!" or "sige na nga!" mahal ka kasi n'ya!" again... love... you know...

others prefer keeping the relationship away from everybody's "kamalayan" (wd d accent on d 4th syllable). i just don't know! maybe because theirs are not yet legal (earth calling parents!!!) or isn't it that they're not yet ready to face the responsibilities they have the moment they indulge into one. why commit in the first place? hindi kaya... hmMmNNn...

when couples are asked about keeping the relationship a secret, usual responses like "we're not yet sure e..." or "we're not yet ready e..." or the ever "gasgas na drama," "coz we want to keep our privacy." come alive. hellerRr!!! ang dami kayang rooms d'yan! sa CR lang private na!!! but seriously, can't you keep your privacy while in the open? (you are actually the one keeping or breaking your privacy) let us make this clear, keeping your relationship in private is not synonymous to keeping it a secret (or your secrets). what are your secrets anyway?! remember that secret and private are two different things. why? aren't you proud of it?!

in cases like the celebrities, they prefer a relationship in "secret." it's a career move you know... moves like the "loveteam" drama... ang pangit nga naman siguro kung may ka-loveteam ka tapos may ka-on ka non-showbiz pa! but isn't it s clear sign of gimmickry? put-ons or something? haay... buhay artista... tsk... tsk...what can you say?

well... i guess this one's "iba." a you and me against the world relationship kept in secret because you really do love him/her and you don't want anybody to be involved in it, get into it, or interfere with it. you don't want to go against culture and tradition and practice your own. you don't want to go against religion and believe your own, and you don't want to go against the society and live on your own. this one i think is really diff. and you should know what it is. after all it's love and it just comes out naturally! it illuminates... it radiates...

no! don't get me wrong (i'll leave that to your imagination) nothing in here really... my mind was just stirred by Y-SPEAK. catch it over studio 23 kabarkada mo!!! every sunday at 7:00 in the PM. speak and be heard...Y-SPEAK! (lintik!!! plugging na itoh!!!)..8

..Sacrifice or No Sacrifice?..

Are you willing to leave your life for a relationship?

i know your in love as of this time but how long will it stay? some might ask me "have you ever been in love?" yes i did it's just that i do not sound like i really have been... maybe because... i've been in so much pain in my whole and that i don't want that to happen again...not with you, not with anybody else, not in this lifetime baby!!!

if asked with the same question, NOPE!!! here are 2 of MY reasons why:

YOU CAN'T JUST SACRIFICE YOURSELF FOR ANYBODY: that is the rule of my game. if you got yours, i also got mine! clever?! maybe for you yeah but that is how the game goes...unang ma in-love talo!

YOU WORKED FOR IT: what i am today is because of what i believed in and that is what i want you to know. COGITO ERGO SUM!

have you read it? and now i'm bad...ok... i got no prob with it...you've never been me! you might say "yes! i'm very much willing to leave my life for a relationship." for how long? how far would you go? is that the only thing you know...falling in love...i think i got it...you're willing to leave your life for a relationship if it' s worth it! but what makes it worth it? "kung mahal mo?" come on! kahit aso mahal mo! ibang level lang...how would you know that it's worth it? after you've been hurt and cried yourself to sleep and the only thing that he/she keeps on telling you is "i'm sorry?" for God's sake...di na dapat uso ang martir ngayon or ang ta--a ngayon! bear in mind that love most of the time, is never enough.

in the case of couples going against the power of time and distance, i admire you guys but then again you know that you are in a relationship. a relationship built on trust and constant communication. if you have those two...sige...

relationship is all about growth, it's also about the changes that occurs to both of you and if it happens that no one seems to notice the changes that has been happening, there must be something wrong. as the cliche goes, "the only constant thing in this world is CHANGE" and how would you be able to see the changes if your absent? this is like testing the waters that you first need to have a close encounter before testifying or confirming.

it's still up to you guys afterall i believe that a relationship specifically a long distance relationship this time is a matter of choice. it's a decision that only you can make and decide and that the people around are just spectators. they have nothing to do with you. only that i advise you not to engage in one coz it really is hard and this is advisable only to young adults who could really stand it. people who are already stable in all aspects of their lives. if you're that brave enough to conquer time then you're ready to pull it off. you don't really have to test the relationship if it'll work or not, if you think it really is worth it, go ahead and give it a shot. if during the time and distance you could still practice fidelity, honesty, and commitment then you have my vote!

i just have one question, why look and be with someone from afar if there is someone near? basta ako... i believe "it all falls down to who's by your side!"

"everybody has the right to love, not as of this time for me..."

NOTE: this is for the realistic and the fair idealistic ones.8

..Birds and Fishes..

"if a bird fell in love with a fish, how could they live? can one fly with fins? can one remove its wings? how pathetic...love can never change what's not meant to be"

"is there something wrong? what made you think that a bird would fall for a fish? we both know that they were not made to be together."

"you may be right but you also know that when it comes to people, there are birds and fishes, they fall in love unexpectedly, and they change unconsciously all because they love each other..."

"now i know how pathetic i am because i am a bird who has fallen for a fish...sadly...love can never change it"

"don't worry, anybody can lose one fight"

"you're definitely right, but it never entered my mind that i'll be losing the fight i never want to lose..."8