????...

ayaw ko ang matulog
ayaw ding pumikit
ni ayaw maidlip
para bang sa aki'y bangungot ang kalakip

ayaw kong dumilat
ayaw ding gumising
takot sa katotohanang...
ako'y nahimlay na't wala sa iyong piling
gawa ng bangungot na sa aki'y kumitil

???

ngayon...
kasabay ng pagsikat ng araw
ang pagsambulat ng damdaming
naghihimutok...
naghuhumiyaw...

bunga ng mga panahon ng pananahimik
tila nagbabadya ng katapusan, ng wakas...
wakas na ni minsa'y hindi sumagi sa isipang
kailan lang ay musmos

kamusmusang patungo sa mapaglarong tadhana
tadhanang hindi inalintanang akin...

at...
sa aking mga kamay

ngayon ang araw ay hindi na muling masisilayan...

..The Art of Detachment..

..The past few days actually gave me enough time to contemplate and realize some of the best moments that I ever had in my life..A time when I got to spend time with material things. A time to be with new people and be friends with them. Time to be with those people that I really cared about. A time when my whole world revolved around someone or something and a time to be one with myself. Best? I think so but I have to let them all go now. Remember, never hold on to things because everything in this world is impermanent. Once in a while, we need to detach from each and everyone of them. The biggest question is "HOW".

..Going deep into the root of all this might be of great help. It's like knowing what the problem is and then finding a solution to solve it. Whenever there are things that make us feel loved and given importance of, we tend to cling on to them and those I think cause us so much pain in the end. One would even ask "why did it have to happen if it wouldn't last long?" "why do i need to go through all of those stuff and leave me hurting?" the answers to those questions might take us a long time to comprehend - we tend to deny things as they happen. Acceptance is not an option (at first). We get hurt, we feel pain, we feel ignored. Normal. Pathetic. That's why we need to be prepared at all times. We have to accept what's going to happen next. We need to detach. Detach from them.

..For every positive things, there are negative things at the other end. For every dark tunnel, there's light. For every sadness, there's joy. For every thing in this world, there's pain. Loneliness. And I am just tired. Sick and tired of doing the same old sh*t all the time. I am trying to learn. Just learn...

..I still have a lot to share, a lot to say, it's just that, I don't know where to begin. I'll just wait! Just wait...8

..The Ten Commandments of How to Get Along with People..

1. Keep skid chains on your tongue; always say less than you think. Cultivate a low, persuasive voice. How you say it often counts more than what you say.

2. Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully, no matter what it costs you.

3. Never let an opportunity pass to say a kind and encouraging thing to or about somebody. Praise good work done, regardless of who did it. If criticism is needed, criticize helpfully, never spitefully.

4. Be interested in others; interested in their pursuits, their welfare, their homes and their families. Make merry with those who rejoice; with those who weep, mourn. Let everyone you meet, however humble, feel that you regard him as one of importance.

5. Be cheerful. Keep the corners of your mouth turned up. Hide your pains, worries and disappointments under a smile. Laugh at good stories and learn to tell them.

6. Preserve an open mind on all debatable questions. Discuss, but don't argue. It is a mark of superior minds to disagree and yet to be friendly.

7. Let your virtues, if you have any, speak for themselves, and refuse to talk of another's vices. Discourage gossip . Make it a rule to say nothing of another unless it is something good.

8. Be careful of another's feelings. Wit and humor at the other fellow's expense are rarely worth the effort, and may hurt where least expected.

9. Pay no attention to ill-natured remarks about you. Simply live that nobody will believe them. Disordered nerves and a bad digestion are acommon cause of backbiting.

10. Don't be too anxious about your dues. Do your work, be patient and keep your disposition sweet, and you will be rewarded.

Good Governance: Our Right, Our Responsibility

For years my head has been struggling to answer one question…Why are the people in our country so fragmented?…Like, why are there so many factions in the government? In the military? In business? In communities? In the studentry?…That there is what we call the "right wing" and then there is the "left wing?" In the university where I came from, we call them ‘tibak’; ‘aktibista’; or worst ‘NPA wanna be’s.’

And for years, I have been listening modestly and patiently on what they have been saying… 10 percent comment about capitalism, 10 percent comment about equality, 25 percent comment about social strata and a humongous 55 percent comment about Good Governance. They say that our country lacks it. That our country should have it!

But what I forgot to ask them is "What is good governance in the first place?" Does it mean that if our country would have this, it would belong to the first world? That if our country could acquire this, then there would be economic stability? If our country can have good governance, does this mean that we can have a fair share on the issue of WTO? Or should we even use the word GOOD and GOVERNANCE in one sentence?

A couple of years ago, issues have been heaping up in our country, workers demand for the P125 across-the-board increase which was not really met, issues about Indigenous Community Militarization, which again killed dozens of Aetas, Manobos and Hanunuo since our indigenous brothers did not agree with the conversion of their tribes’ land into militarized areas, a series of Oil price hikes and then a few rollbacks which just like the previously stated events all ended in favor of lobbying groups. If you will take a look at all of these issues, they have a common ground…they are all government concerns.

The Philippine Government has been claiming all along that it is democratic…that we are very lucky since it is one of the freest countries in the world…that our government was made by the people, for the people…that our government system is IDEAL. Come to think of it, ideal is synonymous to perfect and since grade four my often quoted motto is NOBODY is PERFECT. In this context, I could safely assume that the Philippine Government has been lying all along, that its claim about idealism is a lie.

I am 18 years old. I am a student. I value education. I try to be an asset to my country. But I can only do so much. While most of my peers value signature items and gossips about their latest varsity crushes, I prefer to sit down and ask questions about my country. If government officials have been claiming that ours is an ideal form and I find out that it has been lying all along…what should I do?

To be honest, I do not know. Perhaps the answer would be to demand good governance from each citizen. But the problem is that the youth, like me, lack influence in formulating public policies. Our exclusion is caused by both external and internal barriers. The external barriers have to do with a ‘culture of apprehension’; reflective of the generation gap that tends to breed a sense of mistrust and misunderstanding between adults and youth. It is also reflected in the government and other decision-making bodies that do not bother to involve young people in policy development. Instead, young people are generally treated as the "next generation" and "leaders of tomorrow." The internal barriers relate specifically to youth, who often fail to see themselves as actors in decision-making processes. This is partly the result of never being taught that they have a role to play in making policy decisions, and partly a result of youth organizations lacking the necessary skills and strategic thinking to make inroads into policy circles. This brings me to the query. Does it have something to do with budget cutting on educational funds every time there is a national emergency? Why does it have to be the educational funds?

I remember when Nelson Mandela delivered his speech in the African Youth Convention. He firmly stated that a time comes in the life of any nation when there remain only two choices - submit or fight. And as of this moment I believe that there is nothing left for the youths of today to do but to fight and demand for good governance. It is our right and it is our responsibility.

Involving us young people in policy-making is important. It provides opportunities to build skills and learn from experiences that will serve us well throughout our lives. It will help us combat cynicism about politics and politicians, It will give us a first-hand understanding on how decision-making processes function. It will strengthen the civil society - will demonstrate the value of the public sector and of public service. At the same time, it will give us the chance to participate in the development of communities – in social, economic, cultural, and political terms. Lastly, it will help us disprove the multitude of negative stereotypes about youth that continue to exist.

Asking questions does not mean one is practicing treason. Demanding for an answer will not make one commit sedition. I call these two involvement. The youth is not a ‘next generation’ scenario, we are happening today, this very minute and we are assets longing to be tapped by our country. We should not be afraid of growing slowly, we must be afraid only of standing still…Of doing nothing for the country that has been our shelter, our protection, our home.

Good governance is not a gift. The youth like us have the right to Demand for it...Work for it…and Assume Responsibility for it. Who so neglects learning in his youth, loses the past and is dead for the future! 



Speech Delivered in 2004 by: mrlvtubid (brasil tubid)
Community Chest Foundation
Oration Contest
Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Maynila

..Pains of Being A Teacher (students do not read this)..

1. Students truly DO NOT appreciate you.

2. You are over worked underpaid.

3. Your students look at you as somebody they pay

4. You are always sized down

5. You have to take respect from them in a forceful manner

6. They are happy if you are sick, busy or in a boring meeting (because you don’t have to come to class, imagine, they are happy because you are sick?)

7. They call you ‘irrational being’, ‘unfair being’, ‘may favoritism’ and others out of nothing.

8. They feel that you should always be a happy, shiny individual.

9. They question your opinion

10. Worst they yell ‘I don’t give a hell care about her number!’..

..Kris, Kissa and Feminism..

“Oooooooooh my God!…I really have this feeling like ‘game na kayo!’ well, if that is the case then perhaps we should begin…(in a disoriented manner) like, begin what? Oh my God…like I forgot why I’m here…kidddddddding!. Well since we are all here and the stage is set and we have an audience and everything why don’t you and I conduct a nerve wrecking yet satisfying intellectual intercourse”. Did you know that Merriam Webster defines the word woman as a ‘female servant or attendant’ . You know what’s worst Encarta Dictionary defines woman as a domestic employee. Yessss…I mean I was like shock and everything because I wouldn’t allow people to call me a servant…me? A servant? With my flawless skin and perfectly manicured nails…a servant? Like Nooooooooo!. So then I started to have tour of my book Word Origins and then I found the oddest word foundation, woman came from the English word wifman which means a ‘wife plus a man’ . And I was like “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?”…Of course I have this feeling that my daily dose of anxiety is slowly creeping in, I realized that I should observe one hundred percent feminist outlook…(in an extra proud manner) for I am a woman!, then again I realized what do I mean when I say feminist? Well…(While talking to the audience) Of course a thinker like me knows what it means…feminist means…uhmmmm…it means you always entertain bad thoughts…or was that pessimist?…Oh, oh I know it means your immature or was that childish? (to the audience) now, don’t look at me like I don’t know what I’m talking about…I know what feminism is…in fact if I may declare I am one of them…don’t give that look…I am…believe me I am…what do you mean I don’t look like one…FYI my mother is a feminist…what do you mean she’s a housewife wearing a yellow apron…how dare you!!! You stop it okay…If you don’t stop it…If you don’t stop it…babatuhin kita ng kissa!!! Oh really now…I accept your challenge…I will prove to you and to everybody that I am a feminist! First, I know for a fact that “Women constitute one half of the world’s population, we perform nearly two-thirds of the world’s tasks, and sad to say receives one tenth of the world’s income and worst we own less than one-tenth of the world’s property” , talk about being a loser…but what I don’t understand is that if that would be the case then why are we still referred to as the weaker sex? Hmmmm…actually we hate it! I mean we hate to be addressed in that manner…who wants to be refferred to as somebody weak…like helloooooooooo!!! We hate the concept of categorizing, oh! by the way I let myself use the word categorize because as of this moment majority of the population living in this world refuse to use the word ‘discriminate’, for it is politically incorrect. Perhaps they live in an alternate universe where health cutbacks does not constitute women, a place where politics is not male dominated and a situation where the knight-in-the-shining-armor syndrome is nonexistent. Second, though I am planning to have my breast augmented just like Claudine…Excuse me, I will just augment it…I am not going to fix my breast…my breast is just fine, it just needs a little improvement…I mean I for one can afford it, I have money you know…nevertheless, even though I am planning to have my breast augmented just like Claudine I despise the exploitation of women on television, isn’t bad enough that most men in our country dwell on the fact that women with a fair complexion and big boobs are considered to be beautiful if not attractive, I mean come on…Filipinas are not mestizas…that is one hell of a mistake…Filipinas are ‘morenas’ that is why they need kissa papaya! Notions like that should be corrected from the inside, I mean isn’t that a little bit shallow that you begin to have a false impression of a filipina whom you know since you were a kid. In addition, I also spurn the sight of “almost” naked women in noontime show. They are beings with brains, brains should be use, you use the brain when you begin to educate. Then the question would be…Is there anybody who volunteers to educate them? To tell them that they have the ability to say NO if they feel exploited? That they have an option not to capitalize on their bodies? Third, though sometimes it’s flattering specially if Piolo would be the one to commit the act, We hate it when men sees us as a piece of meat! We are not meat from the sleekiest market in town, in fact sometimes I feel like I’m an armani suit that most men like to wear…it hurts me, why? What do you mean why? You know what, when you sell your brain…it’ll be really, really expensive…you know why? Of course you don’t know why…It has never been used! Well that’s enough, again We hate the very thought that men looks at us as though we are a piece of meat…we are not…believe it or not our existence have a purpose and that is to live in absolute equality. Why do we have to symbolize alcohol, cigarettes and other God forbidden vices? I mean why men model it…they are the primary consumer of the product? Wait! Yes…tito boy! Okei tito boy…bye tito boy! It’s tito boy I have to cut this short…I have an appointment, What? Well I happen to love antiques! So what am I trying to point out? pure and simple. Women are intelligent. That is flat fact. Now don’t begin to ask me for proofs I might give it to you and I need more than 365 and ¼ days to enumerate them. For men like John Nash, Pierre Curie, and John Kennedy a woman’s wisdom has become evident that history even took notice of it. I came here to tell you that women ‘always’ think…like men we also had the opportunity to acquire a ‘brain’ and we intend to use it. And one more thing get rid of the quote ‘behind a great man is a great woman’ We don’t need to be behind any man, we can be beside them or even in front of them. Let us put into argument the long time dispute regarding women empowerment. Women Power is not a theory nor a concept it is an existing truth that needs to be practiced and prime. For years we have been combating Human Rights specially dedicated to women. Let us put a stop to it. Let’s practice it.

Entry: The Opus League Competition
St. Scholastica’s College , 2nd Place

..February 14, 2007..

It's gonna be All Hearts Day and it would just be a day filled with romantic exchanges of thoughts and stares. Everything may just be filled with red roses and chocolates of any kind- romantic symbols of love.

Certainly, the doubtfuls may just be batting some eyelashes at the super mushy manifestations of those who are lovestruck. As they say, Love is blind. Some people may tend to be so demonstrative, so showy in all its form but actually has no substance at all.

The kind of celebration that we do have has become a commercial enterprise, a money-raking industry wherein most people - ordinary, elite and celebrities capitalize on.

From simple dinners into concerts, from roses into chocolates and cards - they all have one thing in common - sky rocketing prices.

Does love has a price? What is its price?

The answer would definitely depend on how much you would want your celebration to cost you but the bottom line here is this: It's how you put emphasis on what you really feel toward that special person and not the amount you've spent on it. As the cliche goes: It's the thought that counts.

A simple greeting would do, a personalized card, a verse or a poem...

So here are some verses and quotations from famous people who have made their share in greeting us without spending so much - just touching our hearts.

"One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry." - Oscar Wilde

"How do I love thee...Let me count the ways..." - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

"Her love, it's like the wind. I can't see it but I can feel it." - Shane West (Landon Carter), A Walk to Remember

"Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connait point ( The heart has its reason which reason knows nothing of)." - Blaise Pascal

"When a lovely flame dies, smoke gets in your eyes." - Otto Harbach

"When my love swears that she is made of truth, I do believe her though I know she lies." - William Shakespeare

"There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other one is t0 get it." -George Bernard Shaw

"True love brings up everything - you're allowing a mirror to be held up to you daily." - Jennifer Aniston

"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." - Alfred Lord Tennyson

"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." - Robert Frost

"There is no remedy for love but to love more." - Henry David Thoreau

"To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt." - Madonna

"It all falls down to who's by your side." - A Walk to Remember

"The only regret that we have in this life are the risks we didn't take. If you found that something that makes you happy, grab it with both hands and to hell with the consequences." - Anonymous

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all." - Michael Masser and Linda Creed

"You never say sorry for loving someone. You never say sorry for loving me." - Claudine Barretto (Toni Villacorta), Got to Believe

"eventhough i am hurting, i'll never be sorry for loving you. eventhough i am hurting, i'll still keep on living. and eventhough i am hurting, i'll still be loving you... even in silence..." - Ma. Riva Lynn V. Tubid

"I will never hate you for not loving me but i will... the moment I see you crying with the person you chose to love instead of me." - Ma. Riva Lynn V. Tubid

Each and everyone of us is entitled to experience the most passionate, the sweetest treatment we could ever get. And if you ever lost that one opprtunity to be with someone, you may always take a look back and dwell on the blessings you've just had.

It doesn't mean that if you don't see him, he doesn't exist - he does! You just have to believe. He may not happen today but he's sure to happen.

"Love the one you have. He/she may be the best thing that ever happened to you."

"If you are alone, love yourself. It's better than being stuck in a sham of a relationship. Being alone, in meaningful solitude, is great for the soul." - Maria Victoria Rufino

(photo from: reader's digest, rdasia.com)

..Stand Up and Fight!..

God has not left us defenseless. He has equipped us with spiritual weapons and spiritual armor so we can stand up and fight the devil. Through faith in Christ, we can walk in victory over every attack of our enemy.

Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes for our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realm. Therefore, put on the full armor of God so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground and after you have done everything, stand firm with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all these, take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil ones. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit which is the word of God.

..15 Ways to Enhance Yourself..

1. get up early
2. look around before going to school
3. relax and enjoy your meals
4. spend time with friends
5. pace yourself
6. find a quiet place to go to
7. praise yourself and others
8. develop positive relationships
9. see your mistakes as stepping stones
10. keep track of your own words so you can watch out for them
11. say "NO" without feeling guilty
12. learn effective time management
13. pay attention to health, diet and sleep
14. exercise regularly
15. keep from comparing yourself to others

..Light..

"I badly need a light at the end of this dark tunnel I'm in.."..8

???

Moses: Everything is law

Jesus: Everything is love

Marx: Everything is money

Freud: Everything is sex

Einstein: Everything is relative

..What Have I Done with My Life?!..

Instructions:

A. Copy this whole list.

B. Highlight the things that are true about you.

C. Whatever you don't touch is false.

01. When I was younger I made some bad decisions

02. I don't watch much TV these days

03. I love psychedelic mushrooms

04. I love sleeping

05. I have loads of books

06. I once slept in a bathroom

07. I love playing video games

08. I adore marijuana

09. I watch porn movies

10. I watch them with my father

11. I like sharks

12. I love spiders

13. I was born without hair and I still have no hair

14. I like George Bush

15. I am cool

16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year

17. I have a Jacuzzi and a Porsche

18. I have a lot to learn
19. I carry my knife everywhere

20. I can be really really smart

21. I've never broken someone's bones

22. I have a secret

23. I hate snow

25. Punk rock rules

26. I hate Bill Gates!

27. I love Chinese food

28. I would hate to be famous

29. I am so not a morning person

30. I wear glasses

31. I don't need glasses, except sunglasses

32. I have potential

33. I'm pure Japanese

34. My legs are two different sizes

35. I have a twin (!)

36. I wear a padded bra sometimes

37. I can ramble on about absolutely nothing

38. I'm left-handed

39. I hate llamas, but I'm one of them

40. I don't like horror movies

41. I suck at climbing, but I love it anyway

42. People hate me usually

43. I love pop music

44. I hardly ever go to bed before midnight

45. I hate parking fines

46. I know the national anthem of my country by heart

47. I know more than two languages

48. I can spend too much time on the computer

49. I often want to throw out the computer in a window

50. I live on a ground floor

51. I don't like chocolate

52. I'd like to be more original

53. I've lied

54. Cocks are my favorite birds

55. I want to conquer the world

56. I wonder what happens when I die

57. I've read all books about Harry Potter and watched all the movies too

58. I love my dog!

59. I love to exercise

60. I hate chemistry with a passion and math, too!

61. I love to write but I wish I could be as interesting as some people

62. I like changes

63. I hate going to class

64. I am afraid to die

65. I hate dish washing with a passion!

66. My hair is long and incredibly curly

67. My nails are nine inch long

68. My favorite color is black

69. I like to sleep on the floor

70. I am hopeless at cooking

71. I sucked my thumb when I was little

72. I should be doing something else rather than doing this

73. I am online a lot

74. I hate government
75. I don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend

76. I'm too nice for my own good

77. I love to read, I read as much as I can

78. I don't trust newspapers

79. I like debating

80. I live in a wagon

81. I clean my room once a month

82. I'm scared of American fast food

83. I have a third eye

84. I love the beach

85. I don't trust any religion

86. I used to play with Barbies only because all the other girls were doing it

87. I wanted to be a super hero when I was little

88. I like listening to wind chimes

89. I'm very disorganized

90. My hair is long and straight

91. I earn a lot

92. I don't like spicy food

93. I keep a diary

94. I can't do cartwheels

95. I can be very lazy

96. I'm sarcastic more often than not

97. I think my hair can be annoying

98. I could be sensitive

99. I love being "ab-normal"